By ツイン スモール (Urufu)
/satire
According to anonymous sources on 4chan’s /pol/, Tel Aviv has been nuked. At 7:47pm on Friday U.S. Eastern Time (11:47 GMT) anonymous users of /pol/ wrote the following:
“RADIATION LEVELS IN TEL AVIV EQUIVALENT TO A THERMONUCLEAR BOMB.
NO NEWS COMING OUT OF ISRAEL, POSSIBLY THE ENTIRE COUNTRY WIPED OUT.
ISRAELI FLAGS ARE JUST CIA PSYOPS TO SHOW THAT NOTHING HAS HAPPENED”
Although belonging to the 6 millionth “happening” thread to be posted to the website today, the temptation to state that “nothing ever happens” must be resisted in favour of the unlimited hopium that comes from believing with even the smallest part of your soul that the gayest city on earth has in fact received the Sodom treatment. The report of the demise of the Turko-Zionist globohomo regime was further supported by other reports of thermonuclear bombs and radiation levels flying over peoples’ houses. One user even reported that Tel Aviv itself flew over his house, affirming just how complete the destruction of the city of sin has been.
Satellite Pictures seem to show that the entire Middle East region has in fact undergone a total annihilation, solving pretty much every problem the world currently faces.
While we await official confirmation of the strike, which will no doubt be accompanied by the rejoicing of the rest of the world at the sight of so many tribes people lamenting the sure knowledge that they too are about to share in the destruction, we can gain some insight into the truthfulness of the report from USCENTCOM sending ships and aircraft to the region for what must only be a fact-finding and rescue operation.